How to Bring Jesus Into a Tantrum
Every parent has been there. The red face, the wailing, the flailing limbs on the grocery store floor. Tantrums are one of the hardest things we deal with when raising little ones — not just because they’re loud or embarrassing, but because they hit us in the places where we feel helpless, worn down, and unsure. Tantrums often start around age 2, peak around 3, and slowly begin to fade as a child matures into 4 or 5. But let’s be honest — some kids go through extra intense seasons. And when they hit, there’s no reasoning with a toddler in full meltdown mode. Each child is different. Each outburst comes with its own storm. And there’s no single formula that works across the board. You can search the internet and find hundreds of articles on how to calm a tantrum. Many are helpful, and we’ve tried our share of them. But what I want to share here isn’t a method — it’s a mindset. Because every tantrum is also an opportunity — an opportunity to plant seeds of faith, to show grace, and to invite Jesus into the messiest parts of our parenting.
Wait, Then Walk With Them
When my child is mid-tantrum, I’ve found there’s no use in trying to talk them through it. They can’t hear me. The emotions are too big. The tears are too loud. So I wait. I stay close. And when they begin to calm down, I sit beside them and gently start to walk through what just happened. I don’t launch into correction right away. I start with their heart. I ask them, “What were you feeling?” I help them put names to those big emotions: angry, frustrated, tired, sad, overwhelmed. I let them know it’s okay to feel those things. All of us do — even grown-ups. Then, we talk about their actions. “Was it okay to hit when you were angry?” We talk about what is right and what is wrong — not to shame them, but to guide them. I let them know that even Mommy and Daddy mess up sometimes too. And doing the right thing? That’s hard. That’s where Jesus comes in.
Jesus, Our Helper
I tell them that we don’t have to do it on our own. We have a Helper — Jesus. He sees our hearts. He knows when we’re angry, sad, or struggling to do the right thing. And He wants to help us. Together, we say a simple prayer — something like: “Jesus, I felt really angry and sad. Please help me to do what’s right next time. Help me when I feel those big feelings. I love You. Amen.” Some days, it sinks in. Some days, it doesn’t seem to. But I trust that the seeds are being planted.
Every Child Is Different — And That’s Okay
Not every child will respond the same way. Some will sit and pray with you. Others will squirm or roll their eyes. That’s okay. Be patient. Adjust your approach to the child in front of you. Pray for them privately too — that God will open their heart, soften their spirit, and draw them to Himself. As they get older, I begin inviting them to lead the prayer. Just a few words at first. It’s not about perfection — it’s about practice. And hearing their little voices whispering to Jesus? There’s nothing more comforting.
This Is a Long Journey — Keep Planting
You may not see the fruit right away. But the goal isn’t instant change — it’s heart formation. Every tantrum becomes an opportunity to speak life, truth, and grace into their world. And each moment you bring Jesus in, you’re reminding them — and yourself — that we’re not alone in this parenting journey. Keep showing up. Keep praying. Keep loving. Our labor is not in vain, and God is faithful to use every tear-filled moment for His glory. You’re not just surviving tantrums — you’re discipling through them.
