Finding Peace in the Chaos of Toddlerhood
When I had my first baby, I thought the newborn stage was the hardest part. The sleepless nights, the endless feedings, the nonstop holding and bouncing—I remember thinking, “Surely it gets easier from here.”
Now that I’ve entered toddlerhood, I laugh (and cry) at that thought. If I could go back and whisper something to my new-mom self, I might say, “Enjoy the snuggles and stillness—this is the easy part.” Because toddlerhood? It’s a whole new level of parenting intensity.
The truth is, whatever stage you’re in feels like the most challenging stage. But toddlerhood has its own special flavor of chaos. It’s loud, unpredictable, and stretches you to your emotional edge. And yet, it’s also a season where I’ve been most humbled—and where I’ve learned how deeply I need the Lord.
Chaos in Real Life: The Daily Struggles of Toddlerhood
1. Tantrums on Repeat
They cry because the toast was cut wrong. Or because it was cut at all. Or because you gave them the toast they specifically asked for.
The tantrums come without warning and leave just as mysteriously. You brace yourself for the shrieks, the flailing, the full-body expression of emotion that only a toddler can deliver. And they do it in public. Of course they do.
2. Picky Eating as Performance Art
Today, they love strawberries. Tomorrow, strawberries are “too red.”
You are constantly asking yourself: what should I cook that my kids would eat?
Picky eating with toddlers isn’t just about food—it’s about control. Meals become negotiations, and every bite is a question mark. You start wondering if crackers count as a food group.
3. The Arguing (with Attitude)
How do they already have so much sass? The backtalk, the eye rolls, the “No!” to everything—it’s like parenting a tiny teenager. You try to stay calm, but they somehow push all the buttons you didn’t know you had.
4. Potty Training Isn’t Linear
Ah yes, the thing I thought we were almost done with poop and pee. Just when I thought the diaper days were ending, we started potty training.
At first, the little toddler potty like this seemed like a brilliant idea. (Btw, I do really like these potties.) They gave my toddler a sense of confidence, and the low seat made it easier for them to go. But let’s be honest: they also meant I was cleaning out bowls of pee (and worse). Sometimes my toddler wanted to clean it too… which really just meant pee spills. Everywhere.
And if you have more than one child, you know the truth: what works for one doesn’t work for the other. One kid might potty train in a week; the other might still refuse the potty like it’s a medieval torture device. I have both.
There’s no universal system. You have to figure out a whole new approach each time.
How I’m Learning to Find Peace
Toddlerhood has brought me to the end of myself—and right into the arms of grace. Here are a few hard-earned lessons I’ve gathered from the chaos:
1. I’m Not in Control
Before I had kids, I used to think tantrums were a sign of bad parenting. But now I know: toddlers are tiny humans with big feelings and zero filters. Sometimes, they just need to scream. And there’s no trick to “fix” it. It’s not a parent’s failure. It’s just toddlerhood.
2. I Can’t Out-Smart a Toddler
I used to think I was clever. But no amount of logic or reasoning works on a two-year-old who wants a banana, but not that banana. It’s like talking to a wall… that shouts back.
3. I’ve Lost My Patience—All The Time!
Actually, more than once a day. The noise, the mess, the interruptions—it’s relentless. I don’t just lose my patience. It evaporates. And I’ve said things I regret. It’s humbling to see how quickly I snap when pushed beyond my limits.
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4. I Need Jesus. Constantly
This season has brought me face to face with my own weaknesses. It’s shown me how little I can do on my own. I need the Lord in every single situation—from navigating tantrums to scraping poop off the rug. I need His peace, His patience, His wisdom.
And the biggest realization? My toddler is often a mirror of my own soul. Their big feelings, their resistance, their outbursts—they reflect my own struggles to trust, to obey, to stay calm under pressure. Parenting a toddler is like parenting a tiny version of myself.
Grace for Today (and Tomorrow)
There’s no “once and for all” victory here. Peace in toddlerhood isn’t something I’ve conquered—it’s something I seek daily. Every morning, I come to the Lord with new challenges, new failures, and fresh cries for help. I’ve learned to lay it all at His feet, knowing that I don’t have to carry it alone.
And that’s where peace begins—not in having obedient children or predictable days, but in trusting that God is with me in the middle of the mess.
So if you’re in this stage too, know this: You’re not alone. The chaos is real, but so is the grace. And with each potty accident, picky-eating protest, and full-body meltdown, we are growing—yes, we—side by side, one messy, humbling, holy day at a time.
